I realised that if I keep "not bloggin" and keep giving no shit

bout maintainin this blog, then everytime when I wanna put up an entry,

it's gonna start the same way:

alot has happened recently and it will be too tedious to blog

bout' everythin'.

So. I can either blog more often, or. Type a really darn long

entry each time I post.

I didn't jus not blog. How bout I didn't even visit my own blog & read

the tagboard. Didn't even realise gwen tried remindin' me to blog.

So I guess we shall start from the things that happened on my 21st.

Well. After I posted my last entry, I went for my supposed "surprise" party.

& it certainly makes us wonder how much of a surprise can it be when

there was definitely gonna be some kinda celebration. Ha.

Yes there was a lovely swarv necklace. & a tiara... sitting on pink furry white satin cushion.

& the pig's tongue dish.

& the "condom presentation" ceremony.

Everythin' that night was pink. Including all my presents.

I love tze gwen & jas.

But I love the strawberry shortcake more.

Exactly 1 wk after my birthday. World came tumblin down, collapsed, wrecked,

ruined, detroyed. Time stopped, mind blocked. Whatever we wanna call it.

Hey babes, start treating your men like shit.

To prevent yourself from gettin' dumped for lovin' him more than

he loves you.

1st time I felt like I shldn't love anymore.

Owell. Life was still cool. At least the $ I used to spend callin' the states,

I can now go watch 2 more movies a month or sumthin'.

The world gets even more disappointing. When you start to see

some of your frens in a different light altgt, suddenly.

Imagine when you start to realise some pple ard you (pple you

called "frens", not very close, but ya "frens"), actually think that they

can get you to sleep with them. You may start to think they are despicable or

like what kinda frens are they rite.

But. It made me really think of what kinda impression am I giving the world?

May be I had it comin?

Not 1. Not 2. A grp of them were tryin' to find out.

I do have some sick frens, don't I?

To make me feel even more disappointed with my world, theres now

a possibility that some1 pretty close to heart said somethin not so nice to the world.

Yet. I don't find myself blamin' him. & I know even if I were to confront him,

& he lies and denies, I'm gonna believe him.

So. Do I ask him bout' it.

If I do, & its not true. I risk losing him.

If I do, & its true. Im gonna lose him.

If I don't, & assumin its true. Maybe I shld jus call it quits with him.

Whatever it is. Seems like I've lost him already, haven't I?

To fast forward alot alot. Basically recently my life has just seen another

lump of shit. Im kinda benefittin.

So is gwen. LOL.

Breakfasts, lunches, dinners, suppers.

Rides to school & trainin'.

gwen & I do get ard alot quicker.

So I'm not complainin'. HAHA.

But I've made my stand clear, from the start.

So pls don't expect anything from me at all... *ShrugzZ*

Like what ace said,

"tell him, if he wanna eat salted fish, make sure he can tahan to

be thirsty!"

Whatever kinda analogy is that.

Been drownin' in my sch work. So much work, but so sick. Been coughin'

fer bout' 2 months by now. Doc said its a serious case of Bronchittis.

Haha. May be I'm gonna die earlier. Which means my efforts to be a nicer

person for the past 6 months didn't go to waste.

Cos' I've always believed that

只有好人才会早死。

But I must remind myself that the reason for me to change & be a nicer

person is no longer there. Same goes for the reason for me to

abstain from coffee & tea. But it jus is like some kinda achievement

if I can keep it goin'. You know like keep keepin' away from coffee & tea,

stop words like "damn" & "bloody hell"& "OMG" from comin' outta

my mouth, & keep startin' my day with a chapter or 2 from

the book of Mormon.

& really be less skeptical of mankind.

Owells. Everybody. Keep rollin' your eyes.

So much so much work. & so much so much more comin'.

Big thankew to gwenie-bombom-baby. 3 cheers. For

helpin' me with my advertisement. Nono. She didn't just help me.

She did the entire thing for me. Heh. *muakz* Lurve ya.

School this sem really really busy. Dunno when I'm gonna start on

revising for my exams. Can't imagine if I'm goin M'sia Open next wk...

Think all the stress is gonna build up alot worse.

Although the sem is comin to an end, theres not gonna be

any peace and rest for me aft the exams... sadly.

I have to get my ass to Thailand & make sure I start work on time

on 8th May. Its as though nobody kares when I'm goin over so long

I appear at the office on Monday mornin'. Gosh.

What have I got myself into... 3mths in Thailand. All on my own.

If I make it thru' then gd for me, I'll probably grow up & be more independent.

Jus pray I don't come back a wrecked.

Can't help feelin' really worried for myself. What if $ runs out?

Then how bout' things like bedsheets? Kettle? Iron & ironing board?

Pots & pans? I buy myself meh?

Then I need to find out where the bank, supermarket, post office, Singapore

Embassy & who knows what else is where.

Only God knows what I should be expectin'.

Didn't MOH tell us that after every 30mins of staring at computer screen,

we will need to rest our eyes for 10mins?

Can we believe that I've been at this super long winded computer

workshop, on a saturday mornin', since 9.30am? In school?

Kinda switched off since 4. Been downloadin pretty stuff...

Like Dior Fashion shows... LOL.

Gonna share them with gwenie-bombom.